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Pineapples

A Ramsoc party roaming the top of Kinder Scout one November Sunday in 1989 strayed foolishly amongst a jumbled collection of strange lumps of rock that loomed out of the mist. Nothing was ever heard of them again (the Ramblers that is, not the rocks, of course)

Beware, all who tread this way!

.............Not until the following summer did an intrepid MPS rescue party set out to determine the fate of the missing ramblers, only to find that they themselves were them (they had in fact mutated, like carbon into diamonds, under the crushing geological pressure of the Rock Monster's jaws into proto-MPS members). Now, released from the shackles of Ramsocdom, we returned, to find the rocks more welcoming on a warm, sunny day.

MPS was thus destined by birth to climb them

And this means man against geology, skin against gritstone, without resort to technology. Tradition states that no climbing equipment of any description may be used (also no leg-ups, ladders, siege weapons or any alteration to the landscape (piles of stones/earth etc) or standing on/bouncing off sleeping/trained/drugged sheep). Standing on/leaping from adjacent rocks is allowed although a pure ascent may carry more bog-cred . All first ascents and known alternative routes/techniques were put up in 1990 by the following pioneers- Colin Jones, Chris Smartt, Simon Waddicor, Martin Beetham and Martin Spiers but many things that may be possible have still not actually been done, attempted, or even imagined.


Martin Spiers, Chris and Colin on Iggy

Here are some clues to the range of bizarre techniques that can come in handy at the Woolpacks, and some notes on grading and routes for genuine enthusiats.

The Pineapples are highly significant to the club both in terms of our history; members originating from Ramsoc and naming MPS after the Pineapples and also the fact that our mascott is Gordon - The Pineapple (see above), and his logo is on all of our club gear. A grading system and resulting Pineapples Tables were developed to help classify newly discovered pineapples.

Win Malt Whisky

There's still a bottle of malt whisky on offer for beating the pioneers' 17-year-old Woolpacks records, the solo round of the eight pineapples or the relay team event. Alternatively there are some more lighthearted records to go for in other areas of club sporting endevour, albeit without such decadent prizes.

So here they are, the nine pineapples of the Woolpacks, just waiting for you to launch yourselves at them!


Scrape and Scour

Wet and Slimy Crack

Inaccessible Pineapple

Percy the Whale




Prince Charles

The Rock Monster

Iggy (The Iguanadon)

The Run Rock




Lurve Rock

And a map to help you find them.

----click-here----

for a spectacular 360 Woolpacks view

(follow instructions to download the necessary Java plugin).

........There have been three recorded trips in modern (i.e. digital) times to the Pineapples, their reports are below (they recorded only modest achievments and the records of old remained unchallenged). Are the 2009 generation up to it?.

An example of Classic Pineapple Territory?

Sunday 7th December 2008 - Pineappling in 2008

Saturday 9th December 2006 - Pineappling in 2006

Saturday 5th June 2004 - Pineappling in 2004

Some sad news - all those wishing to be consumed by the Rock Monster should relinquish their hopes, because at some point during the cold winter of 09/10 the ground beneath it eroded away and it now lies in several large fragments!

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Page last modified on May 06, 2010, at 12:09 AM